What do we know about Ben Chang? We know he’s nuts. We know he’s dangerous, unpredictable, selfish - we know he uses his name to make bad puns. [Guilty as Changed]. When he talks, he over and under emphasizes words seemingly at random. When he eats, he holds his fork like a murderer’s knife - gnawing at his skewered payload like a deranged woodland rodent. We know he smells like bandaids. We know he dresses like a Cuban cab driver. We know he exhibits - nay - flaunts proudly obvious symptoms over a half a dozen disorders you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy’s pets. We know these things about Ben Chang. And so much more than we ever wanted to know about him.