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"the fault, dear brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings."
it’s actually…really nice to be home! i’ve missed it more than i thought i would: waking up in my bright green room to the sun on my sheets and stumbling downstairs and the house is all quiet and nice.
and there is so much god damn green here, i love it. the city undoubtably where i find myself living in the future but i really have missed my home and it’s nice to be back and to actually relax for once because i don’t have any homework due.
i’ll probably get bored within the week though, but right now it’s nice. there are so many things i want to do i’m going to list them all down and make sure i do them so i won’t fall into the “winter-break-netflix-coma” part II.
leaving third north was so weird. i spent all this time packing and saying goodbyes and hugging friends and wishing them a good summer and trying to fill my belongings in boxes and bags and then suddenly i left. i dropped off my keys and they checked my room and then it wasn’t my room anymore.
i’m excited to figure out my summer and relax and work and photograph and to get ready for the new semester.
AND CLAUDIA IS COMIN’ OVA SOON AND WE’RE GAWN WATCH DOKTA WHO MY BODY IS NOT READY FO DIS
it’s finally over and it just feels weird. i swear to god just yesterday i was listening to the heavy plastic bins rolling against the gravel as we tried to frantically move and settle in into a completely new environment.
as the year went on i stuck more things on my wall, added more miscellaneous pieces of paper into my drawers, and filled my shelf up with trinkets i stumbled up and with lots of negatives of things i saw that i probably should have put in a protective negative sleeve.
it was strange when i first accidentally called my dorm room “home” because home was in new jersey with my family and my dog. but this was home too. my warm teal sheets the color of the summer sky and my paisley printed blankets i wrapped myself in during cold nights. the stupidly small kitchen stocked full of mugs and food because we love to cook. and the common room with our old christmas stockings still on the wall because we never had the heart to take it down.
at first it was denial that this year would be over, i expected myself to say “see you next week” and rush home to finish work so i could go out and explore for the weekend. some of my photo family met up that night and talked while i snapped a bunch of shots with my film camera and we hugged goodbye afterwards and it just felt weird and wrong that i wasn’t going to be seeing them for such a long time.
now that so many people have left the dorm is awkwardly empty and the walls are bare and white and look like no one has ever been here. pieces of tape and paper i stuck up are gone as am i. my room mate has left and it feels so strange that once you take the sheets of the mattress the room is officially no longer yours and it’s just an empty template waiting for the next person.
it feels weird because this place has become my home and it sounds cliche as fuck but i really am a different person than i was a year ago and this place is a part of it. i’m so excited for the coming semester and school year but a part of me wants to rewind the clock so i can spend one more week in 504 south waking up on a rainy sunday morning and listening to the excess of police sirens blaring down third avenue.
eventful.
chilling out in the corner of the main concourse at grand central to people watch for my next essay.
needless to say i look like a pedophile. but hey, i have wifi apparently because i’m sitting near the apple store here and it automatically connected? lol.
i’d so rather be outside right now, it’s one of those windy/sunny new york days where you want to lounge outside and eat everything. i had the most amazing ice cream cookie sandwhich at the coolhaus truck today and we visited tess’s boss’s persian street fair and i bought tea.
IT WAS NiCE AND SHIT. this has been another service announcement from julia wang.
